for some reason people often come to me with their relationship issues.  i still haven’t quite figured out why this is.  i’ve had two good friends come to me repeatedly with problems in their relationships and later tell me i should be a relationship therapist. 

i feel bad writing this because i don’t want to sound like i’m being immodest or conceited…it’s just something interesting that i felt like writing about.

i guess i don’t really understand why these people enjoy my advice except that i’m very common-sensical in my reactions to their problems.  i’m lucky enough to not have to deal with bullshit in my relationship, so i encourage others not to give or take bullshit.  in my mind i guess i’m very practical.  if the relationship doesn’t make you happy, it won’t. it’s as simple as that.  if you’re trying to fill a void in yourself with a relationship, i think you’re doomed to have problems because you are expecting another person, who has voids in his or her own life, to fill the void in your life.  people aren’t perfect, and when we try to get another person to complete us that person is almost inevitably doomed to fail.  i think a relationship should be a glorious addition to life, rather than a substitute for something else that is missing, like self-respect or self-esteem. 

i don’t know why i’m writing this, i just find it interesting the way that human beings deal with their relationships.  people will throw aside all horrible aspects of a person because they so desperately want to be happy…and how can you blame them?  i think we’re all guilty of it at one time or another.  love truly is blind in that sense.  it just makes me sad when people deal with repeated abuse (emotional, physical and/or mental) because they feel like the relationship they have is all they’re ever going to have. 

you have to love yourself first before you can love someone else.

i’m very lucky to have a boy who was willing to understand that.  i started our relationship doubting that we’d last, doubting that he’d actually stick by me.  but he did.  he refused to back down even when i was at my worst.  but because he handled me at my worst, he’s also seen me at my best.  few people in my life can say they’ve handled both…really it’s just my boy and my family.  lots of people have seen me at my worst and have left, because it was too much trouble.  the people who stick around are the ones who mean something…and my boy has repeatedly proved that he means more than i can say.  i am so lucky.


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