don’t make me.


still working on this whole “complete isolation” from the army wives.  it’s quite nice really.  a lot less stress for me.

R finally called after almost 6 days of no word.  again, i should be used to it…but the end of this deployment is just coming very slowly and i’m finding myself emotionally exhausted most of the time.  the good thing is, i seem to have a lot more social engagements this year than previous years, which may be due to the fact that i’m more or less forcing myself to go out and do things.  i’ve been spending a lot of time with my friends emma and saul (the boyfriend and girlfriend who are here together), which has been fun.  i guess what it comes down to is that i’m finally making friends that are worth having.  friends that actually do care about where i am and what i’m doing, rather than caring solely about themselves.  i had a friend last year tell me that she wanted to hang out with me less because i “depressed” her…she said this decision was made for “self-preservation.”  i had never heard a more horrible thing said to me.  i was “depressing” because my boyfriend had just deployed…and honestly, i think i was doing a pretty damn good job of dealing with it.  i think she often took my sarcasm and cynicism (thanks, mom) to be “depressing.”  but seriously…what a horrible, horrible thing to say.  especially when i’m going through one of the more difficult times of my life. 

anyway, i’ve found much more caring friends and i’m feeling a lot happier more of the time.  emma and i have been going to the library almost every night to do work and i seriously get so much done.   it’s wonderful how much more “complete” i feel when my homework is done.  i’ve done really well every year (so far i’ve received nothing below an A- as a final grade…a fact about which i am pretty proud) doing most of my work, but i’m hoping this year i’ll do amazingly well having done every bit of my work. 

i feel like i’ve grown up so much this past year.  i know, it’s only a year.  but so much has gone on.  R went overseas, was injured, i spent 3 months in russia, saw my boy again after 8 months of being apart, managed to keep up my 3.9 gpa…in short, i think i’ve done a lot, and handled it relatively well.   i’m pretty proud of myself and how far i’ve gone.  i’m glad that i’ve had a lot of help, too.

it’s later.  i went to target and had the choice of a cute new rug or a new tv stand…both of which i am desperately seeking.  i chose the tv stand.  i get paid this friday so we’re going to go back and i’ll get a new rug for my room.  funny how i’m a senior and am only now starting to actually furnish my room.


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