finally, i’m free.

01Sep07

i deleted my xanga.  i deleted my myspace and made another one to which i will only add people who i truly want to add.

this movement was largely in response to the lame army wives i talk to.  only one of them, who i don’t really count as an “army wife” in the idiotic sense (this is you, masha) was added back.  i feel really “free” after doing this, even though i realize how silly that sounds, because now i am unable to go to their myspaces at 12 am and read how happy they are at becoming “preggo” or being forced to talk to them as though we are insanely close friends.  it’s not me that’s talking to them, it’s an army wife alter ego.  and since i am soon (well, “soon” in a relative sense) to be through with the army,  i felt that it was time to cut myself off.  so hopefully not too many of them will realize my absence and come looking for me (i really would not put it past them) and we can move on, a clean break.

for my part, i don’t want to feel the jealousy that comes sometimes, or the frustration and extreme dislike.  the stupidity causes me stress and god knows i could do without less stress, at least right now.  i’m not trying to be conceited, i’m not trying to sound like i am the smartest, or least petty person in the world.  but being around the dumbest and MOST petty people in the world has taken its toll.  i don’t want anything more to do with these people.

and so i shall switch to this blog.  only two people have access and i like it that way.  i don’t need tons of comments to validate my life, i just need a journal in which to write.  i feel i’ve grown up a lot in the past year and i don’t need judgements.  i’m trying to learn to love myself.

i’ll hopefully write in this blog more often, so my darling boy, please bookmark it if you haven’t already.  masha, i’m sure you have already. 

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