decision.

27Jun07

i’ve decided to just refer to my boy by his first initial.  this is partially because i’m scared of the army wives finding this blog and bringing my down with their fiery breath or something.  so darling, that’s why you’re just “R” here 🙂

so i was trying to go to bed early when i got a call from an army girl that i met online.  she was going on and on about how supposedly her boy was supposed to come home by christmas now, or something.  then she talked about the wedding that she’s planning; her fiance is not helping at all and really has ceded all control of it to her.  i hope R doesn’t do that when it comes time for us to get married…i don’t think he will because he’s very picky about some things, and this seems like this would be one of those things.

anyway we started talking about this girl friend that her fiance has that she didn’t know about, but who the guy’s mom knew really well.  she said she thought she could trust him because she had logged into his myspace and didn’t see any evidence that he was hiding anything.  i’ve never really understood the whole concept of hacking into your significant other’s email/blog/myspace/facebook whatever.  granted, i ran R’s facebook for awhile so i set up the password, and i’ve checked his email to see if something he had bought me was shipped (he changed his password to that because he didn’t want me seeing shipping confirmations for gifts), but i would never check his email to see who was emailing him, or whether or not he had read emails from me.  that’s just a breach of…something.

this psychotic army wife got pissed off at me awhile ago for talking to her husband for 5 minutes online one time, because i should’ve asked her first before i talked to him.  i had 2 other army girlfriends/wives agree (!) that i should’ve asked her first!  since when does a relationship constitute complete ownership?  granted, i am the jealous type, and i often worry that my boy will someday leave me when he realizes that i don’t deserve how amazing he is. but i would never expect him to report all his conversations to me. at a point you have to trust someone enough to know that talking to another girl isn’t going to make him cheat.  one of the army wives that agreed with this girl said that you can “never trust skanky army hos who’ll talk to your husband”…can’t your husband just say “don’t talk to me”?!  why do you have to do it for them?  why are men soulless sex machines that apparently have no control over what happens or what they do?  the whole thing infruriated me to no end, especially when this wife logged on to her husband’s yahoo messenger and sent me a message pretending to be him saying “don’t talk to me,” among other (pretty rude) things.  this woman has a child, who, i would guess, acts at age 3 or 4 with more maturity than her mother.  she emailed me and had the audacity to say that she is “NOT a jealous wife,” but that this was just about “respect.”  um, no, it’s about you being a psycho.   she also sic-ed (sicked?) another wife on me, a wife that i’ve NEVER met.  that’s how i heard about all this.  i had no idea i’d done anything wrong until this random wife sent me a message threatening to get R in trouble with the FRG because i was supposedly harassing this woman and her husband (the girl had apparently sent me a message before telling me to not talk to her husband after i talked to him for 5 minutes…i checked every email i have and never found this supposed message).  then THAT wife had the audacity (lots of audacity) to say that I start drama!

ridiculous.  this is why i’m so happy not to be marrying into this bullshit.  both of these women have children and apparently are still in the mindset of 5th graders.  it literally hurts my head to even think about it.

edit, later: changed the look, i like it 🙂 i tried to find a blue one, since i am “the blue vixen,” but i like this one i think.  pretty pretty.

R hasn’t called since earlier today.  i’m hoping for a call but i’m not sure i’ll get one…any number of things could’ve happened.  most likely a death.  i hate when that happens…i hate him being over there.  i want him home and safe.  i want a normal relationship, i want to worry about stupid things instead of worrying for his safety. 

i’m so proud of him.  i have more pride for him than many people could ever understand, just as few people could understand the deep, true and pure love that i have for him.  i couldn’t be happier with him as my best friend and lover.  but this army thing wears on me, haha.  come home soon darling.  and come home safely.

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